Bad day :(

MW: 140.4

I suppose any loss is good, although I'm still angry at that number. Last year at this time I was back in the 120s. I know it's gonna take time and diligence but I wish the number would move a little faster.

I literally have no idea how many calories I've eaten today. I didn't really have a plan this morning which is a big no-no! I went out for lunch with a friend instead of working out on my lunch hour. We went to a salad place bit I felt overly full which is a huge anxiety trigger. So I purged when I got back to work.

I ate some cookies that someone brought in the afternoon and the whole process started all over again. As I stuffed myself for the second time in 4 hours, the thoughts kept running through my head...

Why do you do this to yourself?

You promised your husband you would stop.

You'll never be skinny if you always turn to bulimia.

Someone is going to find out. They'll hear you. Tell start getting suspicious when you don't return.

Then I flushed the anxiety and promised myself... again... that I would never do this degrading, disgusting, disrespectful act ever again.

Promise I'll do better tomorrow.