Progress

MW: 129.4
GW: 127

You know that girl I was talking about last post? The girl I work with who is unnaturally thin? Lets call her K. Well there's no question about it anymore. She's definitely got some sort of ED. It was her day off and someone had brought in cookies. One of the nurses asked if they should save some for K when she comes in for work tomorrow. Another nurse followed it up with "Why, you know she's weird with food. She won't eat cookies."

I knew something was up with that girl. My spidey-sense was tingling. At least I'll have someone to talk to when everyone else is eating doughnuts and cake.

I think my bf's mom has given up on trying to please me at dinner time. She lets me fix my own plate. She still pushes me to eat more though. She'll ask me 3 or 4 times (or more!!) if I want a second helping, bread, or extra anything. As I'm fixing my salad for lunch the next day she'll push me to take something else. "Why don't you take the leftover Chinese food?" Uh, because I didn't want Chinese food in the first place. I told you I didn't want any. You ordered extra for me anyway and now no one is going to eat it.

She and I would both be a lot happier if she just let me do my own thing for dinnertime. I wish she would just stop trying to  appease me. I won't have to pretend to enjoy it. I don't enjoy buttery mashed potatoes. I don't enjoy pizza. I don't enjoy pasta in alfredo sauce. They're all amazingly delicious don't get me wrong!! I can't enjoy them. Especially since I know I can't risk getting caught purging.

Speaking of, I came home from work today in an absolutely ravenous mood. I was ready to binge at dinner and figure out a way to get rid of it. I didn't. I went for a bike ride after dinner instead. I still had more calories today that whats considered acceptable... but I kept it. Progress!