Two years later

MW: 145.8 lbs
GW1: 140
Intake: 625
Exercise: -850 ( walking on inclined treadmill)

Here we go again. I'm not really expecting anyone to read this. I just need to get this out in a safe place.

Sundays are always good days. It's a fresh start and the promise of several good days in a row leading to weight loss is so close. Where have I been? Same old story. Working tons. Going back and forth between restricting and binging. Yo-yoing between the same 5 pounds on the scale.

My "normal" weight is 144. No matter how much I exercise or binge I seem to bounce back to 144. My body strongly resists moving from that number. But I've done it before so I can do it again. Things are a lot harder once you've hit your thirty's!! I used to be able to restrict and lose 5 pounds in a week, easy. But it seems less and less possible. It takes much more effort and control. But I'm finally fed up with being too pudgy.

I have a couple of goals. I have a wedding to go to in early April. If I work hard enough, I can definitely lost 10 lbs by then. My biggest goal for the time being is to be in the 120's by my birthday at the end of may. I would love for all my clothes to fit loose instead of too tight and digging into my lovehandles. I would love for people to compliment my weight loss and comment on how thin I'm looking. I would love to lay down and not feel all the flesh hanging off of my bones instead of the lean frame that I used to have. I still b/p. Not at every opportunity but most of the time when I'm alone. I don't know if I can ever live a life free of mia, as much as I want to.

Some big changes I'm implementing;
1. I purchased a year subscription to Lifesum app for weight loss. It's a cute little app and it'll help me stay on track by tracking calories, macros, and exercise.

2.I've also been watching youtube videos on intermittent fasting. I'm considering this as well however this will be difficult since I'm usually awake and exercising by 5:30 in the morning and I don't get home to eat dinner until 8pm most days. Having a "normal" dinner is imperical because it's the only meal my husband and I eat together. I have to appear to eat normally in front of him to avoid suspicion. I'm hoping to adjust my body to living off of coffee and water in the mornings, a hefty snack in the afternoons, and a moderate supper.

3. Plant based diet. I am transitioning to a vegan diet. I haven't had red meat or pork in over a decade so I'm already used to avoiding most meals with meat in them. I enjoy seafood but I very rarely eat it. Once turning thirty, I cannot stomach dairy anymore so giving this up has been a breeze. I'm not a big pasta or rice eater but I love bread. Staying away from bread will be difficult. I'm also a chocoholic, but if I can stick to 72% cocoa and higher it's not only vegan but it's not completely cutting it out either.