Then I got to thinking. Am I faking it that well or can I truly be happy? I haven't gotten drunk since that big fuck up two weeks ago. I've wanted to! Does that mean that I'm unhappy? Maybe the reason that I can say no is because there is a small shimmer of happiness. A shimmer that I was too wrapped up in addiction to realize.
Don't get me wrong. Life isn't perfect. Far from it. But it's getting better. A little at a time. Or maybe it's just the endorphins talking. Maybe the St Johns Wort is helping with my ultimate trigger, depression. I don't know. But I hope to ride this wave for a while.
MW: 133.63
Intake: 980
Exercise: -1085
Supplements: Yes
Holy wow, that's an amazing burn for your first day back!
ReplyDeleteKeep hanging in there love. Whether it's three days or three weeks to overcome an addiction, I'd say you've made pretty decent progress :) I'm having my first day off synthetics today, the last few weeks have been a bit of a bender. It's been a tough one but hopefully it gets easier from here.
<3
xxxx
agreed with Bella.
ReplyDeletei can't burn that much without gaining/maintaining weight, so i don't even try, you know?
oh, and i gotta tell you, little muffin - maybe it is the whole lack-of-alcohol thingy that's making you glow a little. i think that sometimes, we are a little happy in some aspects but we're too wrapped up in one problem to realise that sometimes, little things don't matter. not saying this is your situation right now. just giving you some nice food for thought.
i'm proud of you for making it thus far, on any accord.
-Sam Lupin