Day 5

MW: 132
GW: 129 by Sat

Well, last night I fucked up. I found out I didn't get a job that I really wanted. I'm so disappointed. I wasn't hungry but I was comfort eating popcorn and almonds until my stomach hurt. FAIL.

My fuck up kept me up all night, tossing and turning, thinking of all those unnecessary calories that I ate for no reason. I woke up in a very grumpy mood because I didn't sleep well and still felt really guilty about screwing up. When I finally got up, my bf had already left for work. I through some clothes on and headed to the grocery store. The next bit may be triggering.

I got lunch from the deli, a pint of chocolate ice cream, and a pack of cookies. I HATE buying binge food from the store. At least if you're in a drive thru, no one comments on your food because people order loads of food every day! The bitch that checked me out made some snotty comment like "Oh wow, someone's hungry! Gonna take you a while to eat all this." Why can't people just mind their own fucking business?!?! Why do they have to comment on what I'm buying?? It angers me and it makes the whole situation that much more awkward. Needless to say, I ate everything then got rid of it. I'm such a failure. Pathetic. Out of control.

I've really screwed up. I'm so sorry for letting everyone down :'-( I got upset after finding out about the job and let it get the best of me.

I won't be able to count my exact calories today because of the b/p, but I'm going to have to exercise my ass off if I'm going to get into the 120's by next week.

End rant. Moving on...

My birthday is a little less than a month away and I was really hoping to hit 120 by then. I'm actually excited because it's the first birthday I'll be home in 5 years and I won't have to study for exams!!! My bf's company has a bbq that day that we were invited to. How amazing will it be to walk up in my skinny jeans... and actually feel skinny at an all-time low of 120 lbs. Motivation!

B: b/p
L: nothing
S: nothing
D: salad, 1/2 boiled egg, light dressing (150)
    1 cup cooked spinach and mushrooms (60)
    chicken breast (80)
    1 cup marinara sauce (160)
    1 slice homemade bread (200)
Total: 650?

Exercise: 5k run (-370)
                  20 min cycling (-105)
                  30 minutes treadmill incline (-200)

//Update\\ I had a good workout and a walk in the sun. I'm feeling a lot better. The bf is coming home and he already texted me saying he's ravenous for dinner, so I'm getting started on that. Whenever I make spaghetti, I never eat the noodles. Instead I cook spinach and mushrooms and use that.